I know...

It's been awhile and I still haven't really updated but I needed to write tonight. I'm not sure why. Long story short, I've always believed in love, and I've always wanted a long-term relationship, but I've never been sold on marriage. I'm still not. I may have met a man that has changed my mind...who knows? However, I do know this, I'll never need "til death do us part". I'll never need "To you I lawfully wed", but I think one day I need someone to say this to me (I won't lie, I got this from the television:

"With this ring, I give you my heart, and promise that you will never walk alone. May my heart be your shelter and my arms be your home."


I give no fucks that the NYC Housewives said it first. Those words speak to me. I don't need documents, or kids, or even rings...but I want to find someone that will tell me that I will never walk alone.


I bawled like a baby when I heard those words as opposed to traditional wedding vows. No mention of god, or faithfulness, or morality, or threats..just a promise, the most beautiful thing I've ever heard at a wedding. You have my heart so you'll never be alone. My guy should know I feel that way. That's all I want. Take my heart and stay with me, not because you have to but because you want to. No strings or rings attached.

I'm starting this again

4/24/10 2:29am
I am fairly confident that no one will ever find this so I am going to start keeping my journal online. I haven't updated this for almost 2 years and ALOT has happened since then. But more on that later.

Tonight, I picked up a shift at the bar after working a full day at the office. I am exhausted but not able to sleep due to all of the Red Bull I consumed at the bar to get through my shift in the first place. I made shit money but at least I didn't go out and spend money. Anyway, I'm too frazzled to speak about the last two years but just know this. I've realized that journaling is too therapeutic for me to give up. I'm back.

Love,
Your Favorite Train Wreck
-e-